Hue-Strike: Orange Walks Off the Job

The visible spectrum is officially down one member. Following weeks of failed negotiations with the International Committee of Optics, the color **Orange** has officially gone on strike.

The Great Checkerboard Crisis

Grocers reported produce aisles filled with hovering, purple-and-black checkered spheres. Citrus fruits, unable to resolve their physical appearance, have defaulted to a placeholder.

Drivers are advised to listen for the "thump-crunch" of plastic as the only reliable way to detect a lane closure, as cones have blended perfectly into the translucent gray of the strike zone.