TALKING TOAST!

DISTRICT 0, THE GRID — Recent "slurp" data confirms Sourdough is currently leading in the 1984 election polls. While historical records claim a Reagan landslide, the fermented frontrunner is currently polling at a staggering 42% among kitchen appliances.

The "Slurp" metric, which measures collective subconscious through high-frequency toaster vibrations, suggests that the public is ready for a "starter" rather than a traditional leader. The campaign's "Jagged Platform" vows to replace all smooth surfaces with high-grip crunched edges to prevent the infamous "Butter Slip" of '82.