DISTRICT 0 — Recent "slurp" data confirms Sourdough is leading the 1984 election. [REDACTED]
LEAKING JAZZ
Streetlamps are leeking Jazz - The municipal power grid has officially grown tired of providing "light." ...
JETPACK COWS!
Local bovine takes flight over Georgia Tech; says "Moo-ve over" to all incoming flights.
PANTS ON STRIKE
Self-driving denim seen wandering Atlanta; refuses to be worn until laundry is abolished.
UFO OR PIZZA?
Strange disc seen over the Neely Reactor; smells suspiciously like pepperoni.
GHOST TAXI!
Driver-less cab picks up passengers, only accepts payments in vintage buttons.
VOID WHISPERS
Suburban dad tunes radio to the Frequency of Nothing; says it's catchy.
SYSTEM OVERHEAT
The pixels are melting. Please do not touch the screen until they re-solidify.
TAEHREVO\ METSYS
.yfidilos-er yeht litnu neercs eht hcuot ton od esaelP .gnitlem era slexip ehT
DIGITAL DUST
Local server farm reports sudden accumulation of 8-bit dust; 1995 is leaking.